E12 “Grandma got run over by a reindeer”
I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived overseas. I lived in Indonesia for a few years. And my mother, she didn't have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school, but she thought it was important for me to keep up with an American education. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday. But because she had to go to work, the only time she could do it was at 4:30 in the morning.
We have to take responsibility to our own behavior. We can't rely on each other.
You know, people can lie and still be telling the truth. Nobody's a hundred percent of any one thing.
As doctors we're trained to skeptical because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is: every patient is a liar until proven honest. Lying is bad. Or so we're told. Constantly, from birth. Honesty is the best policy. The truth shall set you free. I chop down the cherry tree. Whatever. The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth, the truth freaking hurts.
Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength because it shows you have the courage to admit when you don't know something, and that then allows you to learn something new. So find an adult that you trust -- a parent, a grandparent or teacher, a coach or a counselor -- and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals.
Frank's shirt wrote "谢谢你".
Episode 1: A hard Day’s night
I'm thinking about Andoni Schultz, from Los Altos, California, who's fought brain cancer since he was three. He's had to endure all sorts of treatments and surgeries, one of which affected his memory, so it took him much longer -- hundreds of extra hours -- to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind. He's headed to college this fall.
The baby father met each other in the supermarket.
(Do you believe him?)
Fresh starts. Thanks to the calendar, they happen every year. Just set your watch to January. Our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year. Bringing on the great tradition of New Year's resolutions. Put your past behind you and start over. It's hard to resist the chance at a new beginning. A chance to put the problems of last year to bed.
And then there's Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods in the city, she managed to get a job at a local health care center, start a program to keep young people out of gangs, and she's on track to graduate high school with honors and go on to college. And Jazmin, Andoni, and Shantell aren't any different from any of you. They face challenges in their lives just like you do. In some cases they've got it a lot worse off than many of you. But they refused to give up. They chose to take responsibility for their lives, for their education, and set goals for themselves. And I expect all of you to do the same.
At the end of a day like this, a day when so many prayers are answered and so many aren't... We take our miracles where we find them. We reach across the gap and sometimes against all odds, against all logic, we touch.
I've talked about your parents' responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and you get your homework done, and don't spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with the Xbox.
Dying girl killed herself
(So what do we do?)
Like I said disappearances happen. Pains go phantom, blood stops running, and people fade away. There's more I have to say. So much more. But I've disappeared.
How to let the boy want you. And when they do, what do you actually do?
24 hours. Learn from them.
I mean, if life's so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button? Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know... ...maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? "Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?" "Because it feels so good when I stop."
Hello, everybody! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. All right, everybody go ahead and have a seat. How is everybody doing today? (Applause.) How about Tim Spicer? (Applause.) I am here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we've got students tuning in from all across America, from kindergarten through 12th grade. And I am just so glad that all could join us today. And I want to thank Wakefield for being such an outstanding host. Give yourselves a big round of applause. (Applause.)
It's always the same. Sexy, lying. End and up.
Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday, or if you get to eat cookies for breakfast. Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean, seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. Kinda makes bikes and cookies look really really good, doesn't it?
So today, I want to ask all of you, what's your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a President who comes here in 20 or 50 or 100 years say about what all of you did for this country?
Drug problem; break up with a guy means Fiona will meet someone. Something surrounding was changing.
What I'm saying is ... we reap what we sow. What comes around goes around. It's karma and any way you slice it ... ... karma sucks. Like I was saying ... ... payback's a bitch.
You'll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You'll need the insights and critical-thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You'll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy.
Keep going man. Let's what was happening next time.
E22 “The other side of the life”
Now, as you might imagine, I wasn't too happy about getting up that early. And a lot of times, I'd fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I'd complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and she'd say, 'This is no picnic for me either, buster.' (Laughter.)
Look, I know that there's a thing like you are not supposed to date newcomers or whatever, but I'm not really a newcomer because I'm not really a drug addict, so you won't be damaging me by dating me. No. I would be damaged me. See, you go to the these meetings because the judge ordered you too. And it's fun. You can learn a little thing. But for me, these meetings saved my life. Literally, every day.
There's a whole lot of people who want to see this country fail, Diane.
E6 “ If tomorrow never comes”
Now, your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I'm working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you the books and the equipment and the computers you need to learn. But you've got to do your part, too. So I expect all of you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don't let us down. Don't let your family down or your country down. Most of all, don't let yourself down. Make us all proud.
What 17-year-old gay kid isn't horny?
We had fun. Both know it wasn't for life. We don't do "For life."
The say practice makes perfect. Theory is, the more you think like a surgeon, the more you become one. The better you get at remaining neutral, clinical. Cut, suture, close. And the harder it becomes to turn it off? to stop thinking like a surgeon. And remember what it means to think like a human being.
That's what young people like you are doing every day, all across America.
You have to make a decision.
No, but you are what we have to tolerate, so thank you. Now go.
E10 “Don’t stand so close to me”
Where you are right now doesn't have to determine where you'll end up. No one's written your destiny for you, because here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.
I don't care how much they mediate. When the time comes, those Hindus will be shitting their pants just like the rest of us. You know what they're be thinking? "Fuck. I wish I'd tried steak."
But the report also points to a problematic area.
E14 “Tell me sweet little lies”
And even when you're struggling, even when you're discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you, don't ever give up on yourself, because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.
It feels like something's come detached. You know, like a piece of machinery that doesn't sound right.
E13 “Great Expectations”
So I wasn't always as focused as I should have been on school, and I did some things I'm not proud of, and I got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse.
A good basketball game can have us all on the edge of our seats. Games are all about the glory, the pain and the play-by-play. And then there are the more solitary games. The games we each play all by ourselves. The social games, the mind games, we use them to pass the time. To make life more interesting. To distract us from what's really going on. There are those of us who love to play games. Any game. And there are those of us who love to play...a little too much.
The truth is, being successful is hard. You won't love every subject that you study. You won't click with every teacher that you have. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right at this minute. And you won't necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try.
Reverend...I have been around too long to know better than to expect anything from my heroes other than feet of clay. I don't care one way or the other. I just want to beat this son of a bitch.
The key to surviving a surgical internship is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed, and most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we wanna see and believe what we want to believe. And it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while, the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth, right in front of our faces.
What did Ian do?
Most people think I didn't want kids, and that's why I made my work my life. What they don't realize, it's really just the opposite.
E6 “Into you like a Train”
So I know that some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I'm here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I'm here because I want to talk with you about your education and what's expected of all of you in this new school year.
Why don't you don't wanna go to the swim pool. Someone shit on it? No. Someone shit on you?
E22 “ The name of the game”
But whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to it. I want you to really work at it. I know that sometimes you get that sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work -- that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star. Chances are you're not going to be any of those things.
Make friend in there. Do things for them. So they can protect you.
(You've lost, Diane. And you're upset 'cause I am the embodiment of free speech.)
E13 “Begin the begin”
Thank you very much, everybody. God bless you. God bless America. Thank you.
We talk to each other. And then solve the problem.
You don't take no for an answer. Insist on following them around, Okay?
The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good. And twice as much pleasure is better. That pain is bad. And no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something. And there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that's OK. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams.
It's the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and they founded this nation. Young people. Students who sat where you sit 75 years agowho overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who founded Google and Twitter and Facebook and changed the way we communicate with each other.
You body is perfect.
The dream is this: that we'll finally be happy when we reach our goals... ...find the guy, finish our internship. That's the dream; then we get there and if we're human, we immediately start dreaming of something else. Because if this is the dream then we'd like to wake up... ...now please.
Now, I know it's not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork.
Why you take such an interest? Well, it's my job to take an interest in my students.
Not just. It's a grim time out there.
E25 “17 seconds”
But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, the best schools in the world -- and none of it will make a difference, none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities, unless you show up to those schools, unless you pay attention to those teachers, unless you listen to your parents and grandparents and other adults and put in the hard work it takes to succeed. That's what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education.
It's the client cancelled the project. Jack is a good thief. Fiona. But a shitty person. Jack...
Maia. There is your third apology in 30 seconds. Forget apologizing. Jump in. Don't hesitate. Look, choose a partner...Diane, Thomas...and you follow them around all day.
E01 “Time has come today”
And this isn't just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. The future of America depends on you. What you're learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future.
What the hell are you doing? Put your tongue back in my mouth. What is this shit?! Five minutes ago, you were a baby. She looks good,right? I am not answering that. But, this means yes.
(And you get to be the principal? Outraged?)
E2 “Enough is enough (no more tears)”
I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it's your first day in a new school, so it's understandable if you're a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now -- (applause) -- with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you're in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer and you could've stayed in bed just a little bit longer this morning.
Lip. Wet beats hot.
Then die. That's how you know the truth. Die. And God'll tell you.
E05 “Oh, the guilt”
Now, I've given a lot of speeches about education. And I've talked about responsibility a lot.
So, you are a good guy. And I am a asshole. It's absolutely. You know I'm changing. You are a good man. And I won't this is over. I hate what I did. I hate that I hurt you. I want to take it back. And I want to make it right. And I don't even know if I really know what love is. You know, except a thing that I fuck in all the time. I respect the shot out of you, and I miss you. And all day today when everything in my family is just falling apart, I just kept wishing you were with me. And that's what I knew.
E23 “Blues for sister someone”
No one's born being good at all things. You become good at things through hard work. You're not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don't hit every note the first time you sing a song. You've got to practice. The same principle applies to your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right. You might have to read something a few times before you understand it. You definitely have to do a few drafts of a paper before it's good enough to hand in.
I'm not Monica. I didn't slash my wrist over Thanksgiving dinner. I went for a drive. You took a baby. I didn't plan first it doesn't mean I hurt the baby. I took care of the baby, I sang to the baby. I love that baby.
Gratitude, appreciation, giving thanks. No matter what words you use, it all means the same thing. Happy. We're supposed to be happy. Grateful for friends, family, happy just to be alive... Whether we like it or not.
I get it. I know what it's like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mom who had to work and who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn't always able to give us the things that other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and I felt like I didn't fit in.
But asshole know how to made a deep impression on people.
We whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope. Against all logic. Against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope.
But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life -- what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you've got going on at home -- none of that is an excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude in school. That's no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. There is no excuse for not trying.
It's a constant temptation. I feel it in my stomach and my skin.
(Are you talking about our clients?)
E19 “my favorite mistake”
I've talked about teachers' responsibility for inspiring students and pushing you to learn.
We all have our own dreams. me too.
(I'm sorry. I want to...)
E16: “It’s the end of the world”
These people succeeded because they understood that you can't let your failures define you -- you have to let your failures teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently the next time. So if you get into trouble, that doesn't mean you're a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to act right. If you get a bad grade, that doesn't mean you're stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying.
How does he touch you? If he punches it, it means you guys are friends. If he squeezes it, it means he likes you.
Are we on the right side on this one?
E16 “drowning on dry land”
Maybe you could be a great writer -- maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper -- but you might not know it until you write that English paper -- that English class paper that's assigned to you. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor -- maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or the new medicine or vaccine -- but you might not know it until you do your project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a senator or a Supreme Court justice -- but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.
Don't shoot. I'm white ;
It's not about what I believe, it's about what we can prove.
Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your hand, you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain. You're 10 feet tall and bullet proof. And then you leave the O.R. And all that perfection. All that beautiful control just falls to crap.
Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don't have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job and there's not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don't feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren't right.
I was just getting started.
Yes. You need to asset yourself more. Speak up.
Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It's not a day on a calendar. Not a birthday, not a new year. It's an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally it gives us hope. A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing, we can have a new beginning. But it's also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.
The story of America isn't about people who quit when things got tough. It's about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best.
So as a stepmother, I think I have the responsibility to tell that the reason people don't like you, and that your father don't want to be round you. Is because you are very very needy. I just think you should know that. And then you can work out. You are needy and annoying. And slutty bad mother.
No, I just have better things to do.
In the OR, time loses all meaning. In the midst of sutures and saving lives, the clock ceases to matter. 15 minutes. 15 hours. Inside the OR, the best surgeons make time fly. Outside the OR however, time takes pleasure in kicking our asses. For even the strongest of us, it seems to play tricks. Slowing down, hovering....until it freezes, leaving us stuck in a moment, unable to move in one direction or the other.
And no matter what you want to do with your life, I guarantee that you'll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You're going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You cannot drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You've got to train for it and work for it and learn for it.
Sexy with any guy
The thing about plans is...they don't take into account the unexpected. So, when we're thrown a curve ball, whether it's in the OR, or in life. We have to improvise. Of course, some of us are better at it than others. Some of us just have to move on to Plan B and make the best of it. And sometimes... ...what we want... ...is exactly... ...what we need. But sometimes... Sometimes what we need is a new plan.
That's okay. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who've had the most failures. J.K. Rowling's -- who wrote Harry Potter -- her first Harry Potter book was rejected 12 times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. He lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, 'I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that's why I succeed.'
You can't laugh in a year. When you won't be able to afford to live here. They moved in, they took over. They kicked the homeless out of the park as if they don't have a god given right to sleep there. We are dinosaurs. And a big, fat comet is headed for our sweet slice of earth. And the comet is a Starbucks.
No, I've seen lucky. That was smart.
E08 “Save me”
We need every single one of you to develop your talents and your skills and your intellect so you can help us old folks solve our most difficult problems. If you don't do that -- if you quit on school -- you're not just quitting on yourself, you're quitting on your country.
I have a new lease on life.
When they see you cry, it makes them happy. So get it out of your system here. [I had a friend. Went through the same thing. Said it was hell for a few months.] Harden yourself. Ignore what people say. Keep your head down and keep working. Work is your friend. Don't watch TV, don't look at the Internet. Do you have a book? Then read it. Keep it with you at all times. Don't give them the satisfaction of making eye contact. It's hard. But it ends.
At some point, maybe we accept that the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves the reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But the strongest of us, the most determined of us, we hold on to the dream. Or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We awake to find ourselves...Against all odds...Feeling hopeful. And if we're lucky, we realize...In the face of everything, in the face of life...The true dream...Is being able to dream at all.
Sammi was gonna crazy. She shot her dad, Frank. Let he say he need her.
It's good to be wanted.
When it comes to our blind spots, maybe our brains aren't compensating. Maybe they're protecting us.
Young people like Jazmin Perez, from Roma, Texas. Jazmin didn't speak English when she first started school. Neither of her parents had gone to college. But she worked hard, earned good grades, and got a scholarship to Brown University -- is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to becoming Dr. Jazmin Perez.
We are right together before. But I want something else right now. Time changes people. It's not you anymore. You should, you have to let me let you go.
Eye contact, always. Don't back down. Advance. Don't ever, ever, ever retreat.
Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the damn bursts all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired. We are scared. Denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later, we have to put aside our denial ... and face the world head on gun's blazing. Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freaking ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?
I've talked a lot about your government's responsibility for setting high standards, and supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren't working, where students aren't getting the opportunities that they deserve.
Did I overstep? Did I freak you out?
You're a clown. What's worse is you're a smart clown who occasionally has a point, a point you destroy by mixing up with racism and misogyny you probably don't even believe. When you were little, someone rejected you or made fun of you, and now you get to be one of the mean guys, making fun of others.
Not all wounds are superficial. Most wounds run deeper than imagined. You can't see them with the naked eye. And then there are the wounds that take us by surprise. The trick to any wound or disease is to dig down deep and find the real source of the injury. And once you've found it... try like hell to heal that sucker.
But I was -- I was lucky. I got a lot of second chances, and I had the opportunity to go to college and law school and follow my dreams. My wife,our First Lady Michelle Obama, she has a similar story. Neither of her parents had gone to college, and they didn't have a lot of money. But they worked hard, and she worked hard, so that she could go to the best schools in this country.
Laura. I'm--I'm Frank. I'm the liver.
In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust. And then there are some wounds that are so deep, so profound, that there's no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait.
That's why today I'm calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education -- and do everything you can to meet them. Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending some time each day reading a book. Maybe you'll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community. Maybe you'll decide to stand up for kids who are being teased or bullied because of who they are or how they look, because you believe, like I do, that all young people deserve a safe environment to study and learn. Maybe you'll decide to take better care of yourself so you can be more ready to learn. And along those lines, by the way, I hope all of you are washing your hands a lot, and that you stay home from school when you don't feel well, so we can keep people from getting the flu this fall and winter.
The same thing we're doing. The only constant is the law. Everybody running around out there doing God knows what. The only constant we have is the law.
E14 “wishing and hoping”
I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself. Every single one of you has something that you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That's the opportunity an education can provide.
It's not fair? You married too, Fiona. And you were happy too. And then you fucked Jimmy . So figure out your own shit instead of putting it all on me.
We are on a necessary side. People I thought with all my heart were guilty turned out to be innocent. And people I thought were saints...they weren't. That's why you don't go on instinct. You wait, you listen, and watch. Eventually, everyone reveals themself.
E02 “I am a tree”
I don't think they control their relationship. I think they are just in pain. It made me feel pain the same.
Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive. We can't control it.
(Hmm. That's the problem with the world today, huh? You think the fights are different now. But you're wrong. They're exactly the same.)
E5: “shake your groove thing”
A new dying girl
(That's not what I asked.)
E09: “Thanks for the memories”
That was me asking you on a date. Because I figure you kinda can't ask me out. You know,because I work for you.
Carl, you said this was a battle between the firm's heart and its head. But it's not. It's about the past or the future. Your past glories have a lot to teach us, but this is now. The fights are now, and Adrian knows how to fight them. I vote for Adrian.
As doctors, we know everybody's secrets. Their medical histories, sexual histories, confidential information that is as essential to a surgeon as a 10-blade. And every bit as dangerous. We keep secrets. We have to. But not all secrets can be kept.
You believe in god, frank? I believe a force, that thinks it's greater then myself. Hey, I survived this.
E07 “ The self destruct button”
Good work and no play.
We all know we get close to the line sometimes. Now, we try to stay on the right side of the law. You want to be a good lawyer, you need to get close to that line and you know that.
Life is not a spectator sport. Win, lose or draw...the game is in progress...whether we want it to be or not. So go ahead: argue with the refs, change the rules...cheat a little...take a break...and tend to your wounds. But play. Play hard. Play fast. Play loose and free. Play as if there's no tomorrow. Ok, so it's not whether you win or lose...it's how you play the game. Right?
Hey. 14 will give you 20.
Yes. Work. It's what gives it all meaning.
There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times, there's no such thing as enough. The glass is bottomless. And all we want is more.
It means a lot. For my husband.
(I just want to know the truth.)
After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here's what I've decided. There's no such thing as a grown up. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us. And just when we think that life and circumstance have forced us to truly, once and for all become an adult ... We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids. Running around the playground trying desperately to fit in.
Please. You know. I just need some time.
Well, life has a way of reminding you of who you are. Guess I'm not the retiring type.
Ok so sometimes even the best of us make rash decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we're gonna regret the moment, the minute, especially the morning after. I mean maybe not regret, regret because at least you know we put ourselves out there. But still ... something inside us decides to do a crazy thing. A thing we know that'll probably turn around and bite us in the ass. Yet, we do it anyway.
Frank used to drunk like that. Every moment he argued with Monica. He drunk like a shit. But it didn't work. He always came back to her. You can't drink him away, Mickey. It didn't work.
You think this is some grand rebellion against progressives and social justice warriors, it's not. You're just some kid in the corner pissing yourself, so have at it.
No one believes their life will turn out just kind of ok. We all think we're going to be great. And from the day we decide to become surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Expectations of the trails we will blaze, the people we will help, the difference we will make. Great expectations of who we will be, where we will go, and then we get there.
Ivan stolen a baby. Frank almost died. Fiona slept with jimmy again when she was married other guy. Lip can't go to school because no one sent letter to him. It comes off as needy and desperate.
First, do no harm. As doctors we pledge to live by this oath. But harm happens. Then guilt happens, and there's no oath for how to deal with that.
I get why everyone's freaking out. But I mean you pulled some stupid pretty serious shit, not too long ago and everyone didn't try to turn on you and permanently medicate you. I went to jail. So did I. And now I'm out. But I'm not Monica any more than you are.
We all think we're going to be great. And we feel robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes, the expected pales in comparison to the unexpected. You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the unexpected is just what keeps us steady...standing...still. The expected is just the beginning. The unexpected is what changes our lives.
I feel guilty when I study here.
Some people believe that without history our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose. Do we fall back on what we know... Or do we step forward to something new. It's hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us, what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time after time. So we have to remember sometimes the most important history is the history we're making today.
E18 “scars and souvenirs”
Algorithm. Writing code. What if one wanted to hack into financial aid? You know.change an entry to "paid in full". Ok. You just need a sequel injection to get the hashed password. I can take a look for you.
One way or another, our karma, will leave us to face ourselves. We can look our karma in the eye or we can wait for it to sneak up on us from behind. One way or another, our karma will always find us. And the truth is as surgeons we have more chances than most to set the balance in our favor. No matter how hard we try, we can't escape our karma. It follows us home. I guess we can't really complain about karma. It's not unfair. It's not unexpected. It just ... evens the score. And even when we're about to do something we know will tempt karma to bite us in the ass ... ... well it goes without saying ... ...we do it anyway.
Don't say anything. Ask for a layer.
As doctors, we're trained to give our patients just the facts. But what are patients really want to know is. Will the pain ever go away? Will I feel better? Am I cured? What are patients really want to know is... ...is their hope. But inevitably there are times when you find yourself in the worst-case scenario. When the patient's body has betrayed them and all the science we have to offer has failed them. When the worst-case scenario comes true, clinging to hope is all we have left.
A wise man once said, "You can have anything in life, if you will sacrifice everything else for it." What he meant is, nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good, means letting go of what you know is right. And letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming. When we don't have time to come up with a strategy, to pick a side or measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us, and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear.
E4” deny, deny, deny”
You just can't control yourself. Because the stuff always came back. You named yourself shameless, but now all of you felt hated this and wanted to threw that. You guys felt shamed at this now.
You know how when you were a kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be. White dress, Prince Charming, Who'd carry you away to a castle on a hill. You'd lie in bed at night and close your eyes, and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close, you could taste them. But eventually, you grow up. One day you open your eyes, and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely. Cause almost everyone still has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they'll open their eyes and it will all come true.
We can't guarantee you will be safe in there.
A surgeon's education never ends. Every patient, every symptom, every operation...is a test, a chance for us to demonstrate how much we know...and how much more we have to learn.
She is a girl here. She think she's a piss of shit.
As surgeons we live in a world of worst-case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best because too many times the best doesn't happen. But every now and then something extraordinary occurs ... ...and suddenly best-case scenarios seem possible. And every now and then...something amazing happens. And against our better judgment, we start to have hope.
A couple hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. "Never leave that till tomorrow," he said, "which you can do today." This is the man who discovered electricity. You'd think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of rejection. Sometimes, the fear is just of making a decision. Because, what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true. That, by the time the pain of not doing a thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor. And you thought I was speaking metaphorically.
I have to go to the Alibi Bar. Why? It's a job requirement.
E26 “Deterioration of the fight or flight response”
You see, this is what I'm saying, it's the decline of civilization as we know it.
The game. They say either a person has what it takes to play, or they
There comes a moment when it's more than just a game. And you either take that step forward, or turn around and walk away.
Iven hurt himself.
The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still, sometime we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering. That waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst, most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.
Realtors starters buying up property at better than market value, and within a few months the whole neighborhood was over run with the gentry, Bx as were forced out. Today, the urban gentry, is monied lesbians. They knock on your door. They offer you twice what you home is worth, and they do it because they know something you don't.
The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free.Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control... ...you're not.
You okay? Are you lost? Hahaha!
I'm gonna keep going here and I'm gonna keep making these payment. I'm gonna show up, and I'm gonna count them out. This is what I need to do. And your part, I hope, it's patience.
To make it... really make it as a surgeon, it takes major commitment. We have to be willing to pick up that scalpel that may or may not do more damage than good. It's all about being committed. Cause if we're not, we have no business picking up that scalpel in the first place.
They disrespect the college student. But he still alive even tired like a dog. He never shows anything different in here. He is great.
To be a good surgeon, you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean, sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture and close. But sometimes, you're faced with a cut that won't heal. A cut that rips it's stitches wide open.
What's peaceful about dying?
400 years ago another well known English guy had an opinion about being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course it was fancier when he said it. No man is an island entire unto himself. Boil down that island talk and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in. And let us know we're not alone. And who's to say that someone can't have 4 legs. Someone to play with or run around with. Or just hang out.
I told you not to fuck up your life. Don't fucking do that. You guys are happy. And you can be happy again, but not if you go fuck someone else. And the two of you.i mean, I can't handle it if you can't figure this shit out. I mean, this is not fucking fair. But you guys you're Kevin and V.so figure it out.
As surgeons we're trained to look for disease. Sometimes, the disease is easily detected. Most of the time, we need to go step by step. First, probing the surface, looking for any sign of trouble. A mole or a lesion, or an unwelcome lump. Most of the time, we can't tell what's wrong with somebody just by looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell us a whole different story.
Because you Americans like everything to be right or wrong. If someone is like you, it's right. If someone isn't like you, it is wrong. But it's not real. Life is not so this or that, black and write.
When you were a kid, it was Halloween candy. You hid it from your parents and ate it until you got sick. In college it was the heady combo of youth, tequila and well you know... As a surgeon you take as much of the good as you can get... because it doesn't come around nearly as often as it should. Cause good things aren't always what they seem. Too much of anything, even love is not always a good thing.
I'm not sure what you think you've doing. But there's a policy against fraternizing ditch your professor. I don't want to fraternize. I want to fuck you.
At any moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. We don't have control over most of them. When we get a chill, goosebumps. When we get excited, adrenaline. The body naturally follows it's impulses, which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours. Of course, sometimes we have impulses we'd rather not control. That we later wish we had.
Homie is not change no matter how big change happen in future. So he left the guy. They are not in the world now.
E17 “As we know it”
What did you came for? Me? Robotics. They got one of the best labs in the Midwest here. Four years of free equipment. I'm happy to put up with a little bit of bullshit.
Maybe Romeo & Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while. And then their time passed. If they could've known that beforehand maybe it would've all been ok. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was growing up I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone. And that if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now I believe for the most part love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending ... most of the time. And that sometimes despite all your best choices and all your best intentions, fate wins anyway.
Nothing. I'm just passing.
Forty years ago, The Beatles asked the world a simple question. They wanted to know where all the lonely people came from. My latest theory is that a great many of the lonely people come from hospitals. More precisely the surgical wings of hospitals. As surgeons we ignore our own needs so we can meet our patients' needs. We ignore our friends and families so we can save other people's friends and families. Which means that at the end of the day all we really have is ourselves. And nothing in this world can make you feel more alone than that.
Franks's milk of the gods.
E20 “ Band Aid covers the bullet hole”
Let me see you face now. What face? You have no Mather? So I could do for you what my mother did for me.
There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're willing to make. True commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very carefully.
Shit stuff. You wanna go? Are you sick? Turning into a beautiful mistake.
What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful... :...or old wounds that should have healed years ago and never did. Maybe our old wounds teach us something... ...they remind us of where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Something's we just have to learn over and over and over again.
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E06 “Let the angels commit”
We're all damaged, it seems. Some of us more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood. Then, as grown-ups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage. And then...we set about the business of fixing...whatever we can.
You want to dress like that. And hang in bars, you should learn to run faster. That was insane. I can't believe you just did that.
People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories... ...diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our old wounds heal leaving nothing behind but a scar, but some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere... ...and though the cuts long gone... ...the pain still lingers.
You should get some for the bar. Hell no. I don't need someone in a cons after only buying one bear. I'll get bankrupt.
E09 “From a whisper to a scream”
You should be happy Kevin makes these changes. Because if no one does, this is how babies end up in dumpsters.
E5 “Bring the pain”
Guy said"You got this"
As surgeons, there are so many things we have to know. We have to know we have what it takes. We have to know how to take care of our patients. And how to take care of each other. Eventually we even have to figure out... how to take care of ourselves. As surgeons we have to be in the know. But as human beings, sometimes it's better to stay in the dark. Because in the dark, there maybe fear... ... but there's also hope.
Whatever your real name is. Take care yourself, Fiona.
Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed. But sometimes, the pain gets to you when you least expect it. Hit's way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain. You just have to fight through because the truth is you can't out run it. And life always make more.
It's easy to go back the life we used to be, but it's not who we are anymore! It's not who I am anymore. I used to like the danger, the not knowing who you were, the bad boy.
Surgeons usually fantasize about wild and improbable surgeries. Someone collapses in a restaurant; we splice them open with a butter knife. Replace a valve with a hollowed-out stick of carrot. But every now and then, some other kind of fantasy slips in. Most of our fantasies dissolve when we wake. Banished to the back of our mind. But sometimes we're sure, if we try hard enough, we can live the dream.
To be honest, I always thought you were just handjob whore. It's ok. I thought you are a illiterate bartender pimp.
It's a look patients get in their eyes. There is a scent. The smell of death. Some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is headed for you, you feel it coming. What's the one thing you've always dreamed of doing before you die?
There are medical miracles. Being worshippers at the alters of science we don't like to believe miracles exist, but they do. Things happen...we can't explain them, we can't control them, but they do happen. Miracles do happen in medicine. They happen every day just not always when we need them to happen.
Not me. I'm going out with a bang, not a whimper.
The scariest part about responsibility: when you screw up and let it
slip right through your fingers.
Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn't go away.
It can't be avoided. Either someone makes us face it, or we suffer the consequences. And still, adulthood has its perks.
I died upstairs and then I came back to life. I was reborn in this house.
But if I came back to home, I really came back. And I came go out of there anymore. I supposed to stay there even though i can't help. But I didn't. The only reason. I stay here, in a long run, it's they told me is a good way to help family.
At some point during surgical residency, most interns get a sense of who they are as doctors, and the kind of surgeons they're going to become If you ask them they'll tell you. They're going to be General surgeons. Orthopedic surgeons. Neurosurgeons. Distinctions that do more than describe their areas of expertise. They help define who they are. Because Outside the operating room, not only do most surgeons have no clue who they are, they're afraid to find out.
Why is there a condom on it?
E10 “Much too much”
They want to move people in who can pay taxes. So they push us out. And eventually, we end up in a camp somewhere at the cage of civilization. A tent city built on old landfills and toxic waste sites. And then they start passing out the smallpox blanket.
First, do no harm. Easier said than done. We can take all the oaths in the world but the fact is... most of us do harm all the time.
She knows what she want, Bd she doesn't second-guess herself. It's sexy. There's no substitute for experience.
Attached is what I record, share with "同好":
How do you know how much is too much? Too much, too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask. And when is it all just too much to bear?
E3 “Make me lose control”
Sometimes even when we're trying to help, we do more harm than good. And then the guilt rears its ugly head. What you do with that guilt is entirely up to you. We're left with a choice... Either you can let guilt thrown you back into the behavior that got you in trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt, and do your best to move on.
E1 “Raindrops keep falling on my head”
Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain. The normal pains we live with every day. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anaesthetize...ride it out, embrace it, ignore it... And for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.
The body is a slave to its impulses. But the thing that makes us human... Is what we can control. after the storm. After the rush. After the heat of the moment has passed. We can cool off and clean up the messes we've made. We can try to let go of what was. And then again...
It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out, they actually go down. Experts think that people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by family. Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason depression rates actually do spike at the holidays.
Disappearances happen in science, disease can suddenly fade away. Tumors go missing. We open someone up to discover the cancer is gone. It's unexplained, it's rare, bit it happens. We call it misdiagnosis say we never saw it, any explanation but the truth. That life is full of vanishing acts. If something that we didn't know we had disappears, do we miss it?
E8 “Let it Be”
E24 “Damage Case”
As doctors, as friends, as human beings we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. And just when you've gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you, shifts. And knocks you off your feet. If you're lucky, you end up with nothing more than a flesh wound. Something a band-aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip off the band-aid, let them breathe and give them time to heal.
No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it. Eventually the lies fall away. Whether we like it or not. But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. So we lie.
In life, we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones: Gluttony, pride, lust. But the sin you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger's not that dangerous. That we can control it. My point is, maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all, when it comes to destructive behavior... ...it did make the top seven.
A patient's history is as important as their symptoms. It's what helps us decide if heartburn's a heart attack, if a headache's a tumor. Sometimes patients will try to rewrite their own histories. They'll claim they don't smoke or forget to mention certain drugs, which in surgery can be the kiss of death. We can ignore it all we want. But our history, eventually, always comes back to haunt us.
There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your family. You take what the fates hand you... ...and like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not ... ...you cope. Then there's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you and clothe you and take care of you until your ready to go out into the world. ...and find your tribe.
E15 “ walk on water”
The best of this soap opera is voiceover in each episode. It intrigues me to scribble down every sentence of voiceover when watching it. It is food for thought. I like this way to say something about life, love, friend, job, responsibility, loneliness and so on in this series. It make me contemplating what has happened in my life.
E17 “some kind of miracle”
E19 “ What have I done to deserve this”
Time flies Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time Time to stand up... time to grow up. Time to let go.
In the 8th grade, my English class had to read Romeo & Juliet. Then for extra credit, Mrs. Snyder made us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet. All the other girls were jealous but I had a slightly different take. I told Mrs. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot. For starters, she falls for the one guy she knows she can't have. Then she blames fate for her own bad decision. Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window. At the ripe old age of 13, I was very clear. That love like life is about making choices. And fate has nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks it's so romantic. Romeo & Juliet. True love. How sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink a bottle of poison and go to sleep in a mausoleum ... ... she deserved whatever she got.
E11 “Owner of a lonely heart”
So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really. You give in to a sin like envy or pride then you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself, and probably one or two others. But anger...anger is the worst. The mother of all sins. Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does, you can take an awful lot of other people with you.
E09 “who’s zooming who”
I have an aunt who, whenever she poured anything for you, would say, "Say when." My aunt would say, "Say when," and of course we never did. We don't say "when" because there's something about the possibility of more. More tequila. More love. More anything. More is better.
The key to being a successful intern is what we give up. Sleep, friends, a normal life. We sacrifice it all for that one amazing moment. That moment when you can legally call yourself a surgeon. There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. And then there are the days where everything feels like a sacrifice. And then there are the sacrifices that you can't even figure out why you're making.
Superstition lies in the space between what we can control... and what we can't. Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck. No one wants to pass up a chance for good luck. But does saying it 33 times really help? Is anyone really listening? And if no one's listening, why do we bother doing those strange things at all? We rely on superstitions because we're smart enough to know we don't have all the answers. And that life works in mysterious ways. Don't diss the juju...from wherever it comes.
As interns we know what we want...to become surgeons. And will do anything to get there... Suffer through killer exams, endure 100-hour weeks, stand for hours on end operating rooms. You name it we'll do it. The tough part though is reconciling this huge thing we want, to be surgeons, with everything else we want.
At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance, and pretend not to care about each other...it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to. and once we've chosen those people we tend to stick close by. no matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping.
Many people don't know that the human eye has a blind spot in its field of vision. There's a part of the world that we are literally blind to. The problem is, sometimes our blind spots shield us from things that really shouldn't be ignored. Sometimes our blind spots keep our lives bright and shiny.
No one likes to lose control but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. It's a sign of weakness. Of not being up to the task. And still there are times when it just gets away from you. When the world stops spinning. And you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you. No matter how hard you fight it. You fall. And its scary as hell. Except there's an upside to free falling. It's the chance you give your friends to catch you.
As doctors patients are always telling us how they would do our jobs. Just stitch me up, slap a band-aid on it and send me home. It's easy to suggest a quick solution when you don't know much about the problem. When you don't understand the underlying cause ... ... or just how deep the wound really is. The first step towards a real cure is to know exactly what the disease is to begin with. But that's not what people want to hear. We're supposed to forget the past that landed us here, ignore the future complications that might arise and go for the quick fix.
E07 “Where the boys are”
E08 “staring at the sun”
E04 “What I am”
Secrets can't hide in science. Medicine has a way of exposing the lies. Within the walls of the hospital, the truth is stripped bare. How we keep our secrets outside the hospital...Well, that's a little different. One thing is certain. Whatever it is we're trying to hide, we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. That's the problem with secrets. Like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until they take over everything. Until you don't have room for anything else. Until you're so full of secrets, you feel like you're going to burst.
My college campus has a magic statue. It's a long-standing tradition for students to rub it's nose for good luck. My freshman roommate really believed in the statue's power... ...and insisted on visiting it to rub it's nose before every exam. Studying might have been a better idea. She flunked out her sophomore year. But the fact is we all have little superstitious things that we do. If it's not believing in magic statues, it's avoiding sidewalk cracks, or always putting out left shoe on first. Knock on wood. Step on a crack, break your mother's back. The last thing we want to do is offend the gods.
To often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken; it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be...(Addison pauses in front of the hospital)...the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want.
We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves. To other people. The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we have done. Or that's been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes the damage is something we can't even see.
Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful is recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciate small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing ... ... is reason enough to celebrate.
In general... people can be categorized in one of two ways. Those who love surprises, and those who don't. I don't. I've never met a surgeon that enjoys a surprise, because, as surgeons we like to be in the know. We have to be in the know. Because when we aren't, people die and lawsuits happen. Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling. Ok, so my point actually ... and I do have one. Has nothing to do with surprises or death or lawsuits or even surgeons. My point is this: whoever said what you don't know can't hurt you was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world.
In hospitals they say you know. You know when you're going to die. Some doctors say it's a look patients get in their eyes. Some say there's a scent. The smell of death. Something. There's just some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is heading for you. You feel it coming. Whatever it is. It's creepy. Because if you know. What do you do about? Forget about the fact you're scared out of your mind. If you knew this was your last day on Earth, how would you want to spend it?
E20 “time after time”
E03 “Sometimes a fantasy”
Surgeons always have a plan, where to cut, where to clamp, where to stitch. But even with the best plans, complications can arise, things can arise and suddenly you're caught with your pants down.